Monday, February 3 , 2020
Today's Gift
Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves. -Melody Beattie
Rejecting Shame
Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional systems.
Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.
Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn't okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can't change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.
What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It's okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It's okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward ending the cycle of shame. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame's trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it's okay to be who I am.
Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional systems.
Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.
Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn't okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can't change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.
What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It's okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It's okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward ending the cycle of shame. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame's trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it's okay to be who I am.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©
From: Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation - Thought for the Day http://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/recovery/thought-for-the-day
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Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Keep It Simple
In our search for growth, serenity, and contentment, we can start at a very practical level. Simply treat ourselves, inside and out, and everything around us in a respectful and caring way. Many men have not learned how to do that. Some of us have learned to accept abuse and pain, or to be tough and abusive.
We can learn about being in a healthy relationship, about befriending ourselves and others and all of creation. With practice, we will learn more and more about having compassion. As we do, our self-centeredness and our self-pity will fall away.
Action for the Day: Today, I will be compassionate toward each of the details of creation, and practice acceptance both within and. outside myself.
From: Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums Daily Recovery Readings - http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=2
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One Day At A Time
In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many
people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority. Gossip
barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination,
has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we
criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, (Step Six) p. 67
Thought to Ponder
One of the most destructive forces in the universe is gossip.
AA-related 'Alconym'
A A = Attitude Adjustment
From: AA Thought for the Day (courtesy AA-Alive.net) http://www.aa-alive.net/index.html
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Daily Motivation
Excerpt of The Daily Motivator
by Ralph Marston
Most of the time, the only real victim of your negative attitude is you. And there’s no one who gets any help from it.
So, if it hurts you and helps no one, what’s the reason to have it? That’s a good question, and one you can benefit from asking yourself.
Perhaps you’re angry about what has already happened. Or perhaps you’re anticipating something you’re not pleased about.
A negative attitude will not change any of that for the better. It will just add more misery to an already difficult situation.
A negative attitude is always your choice. And it’s a choice you can always decline to make.
So the next time you’re tempted to get all gloomy and glum, simply stop and think about it. Instead of punishing yourself with negativity, empower yourself with a more positive perspective.
From The Daily Motivator website at http://greatday.com/
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