Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means
taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possibe. Melody Beattie
Taking Care of Ourselves on the Job
It's okay to take care of ourselves on the job. It is not only okay - it is necessary.
Taking care of ourselves on the job means we deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves. We detach, when detachment is called for. We set boundaries, when we need to do that.
We negotiate conflicts; we try to separate our issues from the other person's issues, and we don't expect perfection from others or ourselves.
We let go of our need to control that which we cannot control. Instead, we strive for peace and manageability, owning our power to be who we are and to take care of ourselves.
We do not tolerate abuse, nor do we abuse or mistreat anyone else. We work at letting go of our fear and developing appropriate confidence. We try to learn from our mistakes, but we forgive ourselves when we make them.
We try to not set ourselves up by taking jobs that couldn't possibly work out, or jobs that aren't right for us. If we find ourselves in one of those circumstances, we address the issue responsibly.
We figure out what our responsibilities are, and we generally stick to those, unless another agreement is made. We leave room for great days, and not so great days.
We are gentle and loving with people whenever possible, but we are assertive and firm when that is called for. We accept our strengths and build on them. We accept our weaknesses and limitations, including the limitations of our power.
We strive to stop trying to control and change what is not our business to change. We focus on what is our responsibility and what we can change.
We set reasonable goals. We take ourselves into account. We strive for balance.
Sometimes, we give ourselves a good gripe session to let it all out, but we do that appropriately, in a way meant to take care of ourselves and release our feelings, not to sabotage ourselves. We strive to avoid malicious gossip and other self-defeating behaviors.
We avoid competition; strive for cooperation and a loving spirit. We understand that we may like some people we work with and dislike others, but strive to find harmony and balance with everyone. We do not deny how we feel about a certain person, but we strive to maintain good working relationships wherever possible.
When we don't know, we say we don't know. When we need help, we ask for it directly. When panic sets in, we address the panic as a separate issue and try not to let our work and behavior be controlled by panic.
We strive to take responsible care of ourselves by appropriately asking for what we need at work, while not neglecting ourselves.
If we are part of a team, we strive for healthy teamwork as an opportunity to learn how to work in cooperation with others.
If something gets or feels crazy, if we find ourselves working with a person who is addicted or has some kind of dysfunction that is troublesome, we do not make ourselves crazier by denying the problem. We accept it and strive in peace to figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
We let go of our need to be martyrs or rescuers at work. We know we do not have to stay in situations that make us miserable. Instead of sabotaging a system or ourselves, we plan a positive solution, understanding we need to take responsibility for ourselves along the way.
We remove ourselves as victims, and we work at believing we deserve the best. We practice acceptance, gratitude, and faith.
One day at a time, we strive to enjoy what is good, solve the problems that are ours to solve, and give the gift of ourselves at work.
Today, I will pay attention to what recovery behavior I could practice that would improve my work life. I will take care of myself on the job. God, help me let go of my need to be victimized by work. Help me be open to all the good stuff that is available to me through work.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©
There are sounds to seasons. There are sounds to places, and there are sounds to every time in one's life. --Alison Wyrley Birch
We can see life as a concert in progress when we transcend our own narrow scope and appreciate the variety of people and situations all directed toward the same finale. The more we're in tune with the spiritual activity surrounding us; the more harmoniously we will be able to perform our parts.
We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way
by which faith can be acquired.
If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all,
it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color
are the children of a living Creator.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 28
Thought to Ponder . . .
Faith dares the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
F A I T H = Finding Answers In The Heart.
Effort is opportunity
Every effort, no matter how small or tedious or seemingly insignificant, builds value in your life. Every effort is an opportunity.
With every effort, you make a difference in the world. With every effort, you express your ability and your influence.
Give joy to each effort, and you add joy to your life. Give your attention and focus and gratitude to the efforts, and they produce meaningful, lasting value.
Seek out efforts, perform the efforts, and what you get is achievement. What you get is the experience of life lived in a truly fulfilling and satisfying way.
With effort, problems are solved, obstacles are transcended, and dreams come true. With effort, you can change the world in accordance with your highest, most authentic vision.
Fill each day with positive, purposeful efforts. And you’ll fill your world with great meaning and joy.
— Ralph Marston