Sit loosely in the saddle of life. —Robert Louis Stevenson
Sitting loosely in the saddle is an image of detachment for us. Detachment doesn't mean we stop caring. It means we have an inner wisdom telling us what we can control and what we cannot. When we go to meetings and hear fellow members struggling with temptations to return to old behaviors, we need to detach. When family members or friends are engaged in an addiction, we need to sit loosely in the saddle by caring, but not protecting them from the results of their behavior. Sometimes close friends will be "off base" in the way they talk to us. We practice detachment by not being reactive to the person but being responsive to the inner message of what kind of men we wish to be.
We can't control another person's behavior toward us. Our inner security will never come from how someone else behaves. The most helpful thing we can do for someone is to listen and care; then we need to be ready to let go of the outcome.
I will accept the limits of my control over others. I will care and let go.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men©
Here’s my Golden Rule: Be fair with others but then keep after them
until they’re fair with you. ---Alan Alda
Often in our illness we were ashamed, so we let people take advantage
of us. We acted as if we had no rights. In recovery, we work hard to be
fair with others. And we deserve to be treated with fairness too. If
people are mean to us, we talk with them about it. If people cheat us,
we ask them to set it right. In recovery, we live by our human rights.
Help me respect myself and others.
I will make plans to talk to those with whom I feel will listen.
I will let love, not shame or fear, control my actions.
There is no more aloneness, with that awful ache,
so deep in the heart of every alcoholic that nothing, before, could ever reach it.
That ache is gone and never need return again.
Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted and needed and loved.
In return for a bottle and a hangover,
we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom.
- Alcoholics Anonymous p. 276
Thought to Ponder . . .
I'm not alone anymore.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Y A N A = You Are Not Alone.
Prove it with persistence
If you did it once, you can do it again. When you’ve taken one step, you can take another.
Prove to yourself and to all of life that you really do wish to reach the destination. Prove it with persistence.
Your wishes and your words might be believed, or they might not. Your persistence, though, is not only an indisputable statement of your intention, but also a bona fide fulfillment of that intention.
Say it with conviction and passion. Then prove it with persistence.
Persistence is not complicated and you never have to do it all at once. Simply persist for a moment, and then for another and another.
With enough persistence, the biggest obstacles will eventually fall and the most ambitious achievements are well within your reach. When you truly want it, prove it with persistence and it will be yours.
— Ralph Marston