Transformation through Grief
We're striving for acceptance in recovery - acceptance of our past, other people, our present circumstances, and ourselves. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom - the freedom to take care of ourselves.
Acceptance is not a one step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go toward it in stages of denial, anger, negotiating, and sadness. We call these stages the grief process. Grief can be frustrating. It can be confusing. We may vacillate between sadness and denial. Our behaviors may vacillate. Others may not understand us. We may neither understand our own behavior nor ourselves while we're grieving our losses. Then one day, things become clear. The fog lifts, and we see that we have been struggling to face and accept a particular reality.
Don't worry. If we are taking steps to take care of ourselves, we will move through this process at exactly the right pace. Be understanding with yourself and others for the very human way we go through transition.
Today, I will accept the way I go through change. I will accept the grief process, and its stages, as the way people accept loss and change.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©
Walk In Dry Places
Thinking about Blame.
Which is worse: blaming ourselves or others for things that go wrong? A better question might be, Is anyone to blame?
We're really better off, in 12 Step living, to begin dropping the idea of placing blame for our thinking altogether. Even is someone's responsibility for a mistake or wrong is fully evident, we get nowhere by pointing the finger at him or her. What often happens, in fact, is that the person becomes defensive... just as we do... And retreats into denial or anger.
Another problem is that placing blame quickly becomes the sticky business of taking another person's inventory. Let's leave such matters to courts and prosecutions and focus instead on solving our own problems.
Today's Action: I'll not waste time today thinking about who's to blame. My focus will be on what can be done for general improvement.
Meditation is a venture into the unknown, a gamble with my pride. . .
I love the risk of failing in meditation. I love the risk of succeeding in meditation.
I love the risk of not knowing the difference.
I love the risk of being lost and sober in completely new territory.
The results are worth all those risks, and more.
- The AA Grapevine, November 2010, p. 27
Thought to Ponder . . .
Meditation is our step out into the sun.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H O P E = Heart Open; Please Enter.