Letting Go of Naivete
We can be loving, trusting people and still not allow ourselves to be used or abused. We don't have to let people do whatever they want to us. Not all requests are legitimate! Not all requests require a yes!
Life may test us. People may seek out our weak spots. We may see a common denominator to the limits that are being tested in our life. If we have a weak spot in one area, we may find ourselves tested repeatedly in that area by family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Life, people, our Higher Power, and the universe may be trying to teach us something specific.
When we learn that lesson, we will find that problems with that area dwindle. The boundary has been set, the power has been owned. For now, the lesson has been learned. We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That's okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don't want, what we won't tolerate, and how to own our power.
We can thank them for what we have learned.
How much are we willing to tolerate? How far shall we let others go with us? How much of our anger and intuition shall we discount? Where are our limits? Do we have any? If we don't, we're in trouble.
There are times to not trust others, but instead trust ourselves and set boundaries with those around us.
Today, I will be open to new awareness about the areas where I need healthier boundaries. I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. I will exchange that view for trusting myself, listening to myself, and having and setting healthy boundaries.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©
Relating to others.
"How can I get this person to accept the program?" We hear this often, for example, when a patient at a treatment center complains about another who is so negative toward the program "That he's dragging all of us down."
We discovered long ago that we have no power to change or manipulate others. At the very beginning of AA, its pioneers learned how to maintain their own sobriety and serenity even as others rebelled and turned against the program. They learned that negative people can't drag us down unless we let them.
We might need to review our personal inventory if we're too concerned about the behavior of others. Ours is a program of attraction, not coercion, and we "change" people only by demonstrating how well it works for us. Any concern about another's behavior takes time and energy away from our own commitment to self-improvement.
Prayer for the Day: I have a personal need and responsibility to carry the mess, but I have neither the right nor the responsibility to modify anybody's behavior. I'll keep this in mind today.
When we view alcoholism/addiction as the life-or-death matter it is, the answer is plain.
If we do not save our health -- our lives -- then certainly we will have no family,
no job, and no friends. If we value family, job, and friends,
we must first save our own lives in order to cherish all three.
- Living Sober, p. 32
Thought to Ponder . . .
Keep your sobriety first to make it last.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Always Aware.