Loving Ourselves Unconditionally
Love yourself into health and a good life of your own.
Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment.
Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, it's time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but it's even worse to treat ourselves that way now.
Loving ourselves may seem foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don't have to believe them.
People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most.
How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it, if necessary. By acting as if. By working as hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves.
Explore what it means to love yourself.
Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love.
Embrace and love all of yourself - past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.
If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones.
Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Discipline yourself when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need.
Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences - treating yourself well is one.
Learn to stop your pain, even when that means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it.
Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.
We work at it, and then work at it some more. One day we'll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving ourselves has become habitual. We're now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or herself. Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life.
Today, I will work at loving myself. I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself. Help me let go of self-hate and behaviors that reflect not liking myself. Help me replace those with behaviors that reflect self-love. Today, Higher Power, help me hold myself in high self-esteem. Help me know I'm lovable and capable of giving and receiving love.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
"You never do anything right!" Some of us carry this accusation deep in our minds, perhaps from childhood. We remember past mistakes and failures, sometimes dregging them up again when new failures occur.
Today our failure and mistakes are but signs that we are will human and still fall short of perfection. But now we can use failure to good advantage and even learn from it. Our best progress will come when we separate ourselves from the mistakes and failures of the past.
But we soon discovered that, while we weren't alone any more in a social sense,
we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness.
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts,
and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong.
Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God.
- As Bill Sees It, p. 228
Thought to Ponder . . .
While it isn't always easy, if I keep it simple, it works.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
T L C = Tears, Laughter, Caring.
Don't just look for good fortune. Be good fortune.
If all hope seems to be lost, make some yourself. Then make the efforts necessary to bring about its fulfillment.