Indeed, this need of individuals to be right is so great that they are willing to sacrifice themselves, their relationships, and even love for it. —Reuel Howe
We may have an inner drive to be right - and even to prove we are right. We often have been expected to know about the world and how things work, as if our manhood were tied to knowing. So when we don't know the right answer, or when a person disagrees with us, we may get upset because we feel our masculine honor is in question.
We should always remember that our honor requires being honest, not being right. Our masculinity is being true to ourselves as men, not being invincible. Demanding that our opinions always be accepted as right is destructive to our relationships. It cuts us off from people we love, and becomes hostile and selfish. We are learning to allow room for differences; we can love and respect people we disagree with. And we all have a right to be wrong part of the time.
I don't have to have all the right answers. Today, my ideas are just one man's honest thoughts.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. --- Hugh Prather
Step Four helps us look more closely. We see a picture of ourselves, with our good points and our faults. We don't like everything we see. But we can't change until we accept ourselves as we are.
Then we can start getting ready to change.
In recovering from alcoholism, we found that we needed a balanced diet of ideas,
even if some of them did not look, at first, as enjoyable as others.
Like good food, good ideas did us no good
unless we made intelligent use of them.
- Living Sober, p. 3
Thought to Ponder . . .
New ideals and new attitudes bring a new life.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
G I F T S = Getting It From The Steps.
A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi, I'm Judy, and I'm an alcoholic. Balance in recovery is an on-going effort. When I first got sober, AA was everything for a good long time. Then I got a job, and AA went on the back burner. Soon, I was back to old ideas and attitudes. I can only credit my Higher Power for helping me not to drink, but I didn't recognize it. In time, though, I knew what I had to do to be healthy and sober. I know the only thing that will get me loaded is to consume alcohol. This program does not promise me a rose garden; it says that if I follow a few simple suggestions, I will not drink. Life was good but I realized I was still being very self-reliant. I knew I would not remain sober if I did not complete all 12 Steps, learn the Traditions, Concepts, and learn how to live sober. At this time, I was in a comfort zone in the program -- protecte d, safe -- and I liked it. Outside of AA, I still have a lot of growing to do. Because not everyone else is on the same playing field and I sometimes go back to my old ways. I need to change my attitude and perceptions. Sometimes that means keeping my mouth shut. It's not that easy, but I can honestly say that if I remember to practice these principles in all my affairs, the personality conflicts will not be such a problem outside the program. I like who I am becoming -- a precious child who cares for all God's children. I love being sober today; and that is a gift and a blessing beyond measure. I thank God and you for helping keep me sober today.