The goal is balance.
We need balance between work and play. We need balance between giving and receiving. We need balance in thought and feelings. We need balance in caring for our physical self and our spiritual self.
A balanced life has harmony between a professional life and a personal life. There may be times when we need to climb mountains at work. There may be times when we put extra energy into our relationships. But the overall picture needs to balance.
Just as a balanced nutritional diet takes into account the realm of our nutritional needs to stay healthy, a balanced life takes into account all our needs: our need for friends, work, love, family, play, private time, recovery time, and spiritual time - time with our Higher Power. If we get out of balance, our inner voice will tell us. We need to listen.
Today, I will examine my life to see if the scales have swung too far in any area or not far enough in some. I will work toward achieving balance.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
All men in recovery confront their reactive habits in relationships. Whether we came to recovery as a codependent or as an addict, we soon must face how much other people's behavior has been a cue for our own reactions. There is always a three-part process in any reaction first, the other person's behavior; second, a moment of choosing a response; and third, our reaction. But in our spiritual slavery, we don't notice the choice stage. It feels automatic. It may feel as though "the other person made me do it."
No amount of changing on someone else's part can change us. We are becoming more responsible for our own lives and for our own behavior regardless of others around us. There is liberation in noticing the choice stage. It is tough to follow through on our choices, but when we do, it is truly a sign of a grown man. Then a remarkable thing happens - our self-esteem rises.
Today, I will pause to notice the choices I have in the moment between someone's action and my reaction.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
It's sometimes a surprise to learn that we mismanage our affairs even in sobriety. We may even find that we seem to be addicted to problem situations. It takes a crisis, it seems, to give us the energy and purpose we need to get things done.
Is this laziness? Maybe it is, to some extent. Maybe, however, we need an impending emergency to get motivated and energized to do what needs to be done. Maybe we're addicted to crisis.
When you want to be something, it means you really love it.---Andy Warhol
At times, we turned to chemicals because we couldn't love ourselves. Our addiction gave a promise of relief, but it gave us self-hate. We wanted to love, but couldn't. What is it we really love ? Where should we put out energy ? In raising children ? In creating art ? In helping addicts who still suffer ? There's much in this world that needs our love. We can be many things in our lives. Let's be people we believe in. Let's be people we can love.
"Well," said Ebby, "You know, you got to be honest with yourself;
you make a self-survey; you talk it out with the other guy; you quit living alone
and begin to get straight with the world around by making restitution;
you try the kind of giving that demands no reward either in approval, prestige,
or money; and you ask whatever higher power there is, even if it is an experiment,
to help you find the grace to be released from alcoholism."
As Ebby put it, it was quite simple, quite matter-of-fact, and said with a smile.
But this was it.
- The Language of the Heart, pp. 283-284
Thought to ponder . . .
It works -- it really does.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
S O B E R = Simply Observe Bill's Enduring Recovery.