Thursday, July 19, 2012
I spent months trying to prove to a man I was dating how responsible and healthy I was. Then I realized what I was doing. He didn't need to realize how responsible and healthy I was. I did. --Anonymous
Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we're understanding, are warning signs that we may be into our self defeating behaviors.
They can be an indication that we are trying to control someone. They can be an indication that we do not believe how good we are, that we're good enough, that someone is hurting us.
They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we're stuck in the cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.
Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.
The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.
Today, Higher Power, help me let go of my need to control outcomes by influencing the beliefs of others. I will concentrate on accepting myself, rather than trying to prove something about myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie.
Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Keep It Simple
We grow small trying to be great.
We dreamed of being great. Trying to be great is about control. We've caused a lot of trouble trying to control things. We've been afraid to just let things happen, We're not very trusting. Many of us have good reasons not to trust. Whatever the reasons, we had put our trust in getting drunk or high. We thought that was one thing we could control. What really happened? We got sick.
Recovery is based on trust. We must learn to trust that it's best for us to give up control. It will seem strange at first. But letting go and trusting can become a way of life. The Steps, our groups, our sponsor, and our Higher Power---here, we find love and caring. We can trust them.
Prayer for the Day: I pray that day by day, I'll put more trust in my program and in my Higher Power.
Action for the Day: I'll list five reasons why I can trust my Twelve Step program.
Our tradition carries the principle of independence for the individual
to such a apparently fantastic length that,
so long as there is the slightest interest in sobriety, the most unmoral,
the most antisocial, the most critical alcoholic
may gather about him a few kindred spirits and announce to us
that a new AA group has been formed.
- The Language of the Heart, p. 33
Thought to Ponder . . .
The Steps help me live with me; the Traditions help me live with you.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = All Accepted.
Life can be astoundingly beautiful and rich. There are possibilities that go far beyond anything you could imagine.
Today is your opportunity to live the adventure. Right now is when you can find immense fulfillment in bringing life’s best possibilities into being.
An entire universe, overflowing with abundance, stretches out in all directions from where you are. You can feel and see and know, you can learn, adapt and act, and you can fulfill your deep longing to make a real difference.
If you choose to fill your days with doubt, hesitation, self-pity and resentment, you miss out on the greatest opportunity ever. Choose instead to push enthusiastically forward every chance you get, and to fully live the adventure.
If you expect someone else to do it all for you, you’ll end up with a whole lot of terribly painful regret. Make the commitment to take full, hearty, ambitious responsibility for making your life the grand adventure you know it can be.
You’re never too old or too young or too poor or too rich. Each and every moment brings fresh, new opportunities for you to add to life’s magnificent substance, including the one right now.
— Ralph Marston