Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Sometimes it does no good to try to “deal” with your feelings. For the
moment, we’re stuck. We can only see things one way. No matter
what anyone says, we’re closed up. For the moment. But this puts our
sobriety at risk.
How do we stop self-pity? Focus on someone else. When we really want
to help someone else be happy, we'll ask our Higher Power’s help.
Then things start to change, because our good deeds come back to us.
Remember, service will always keep us sober.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, sometimes I get stuck in my old ways.
Help me change my focus at those times. Help me stay sober.
How did I get out of that spot.
Most of us have seen death close up.
We have known the kind of suffering that wrenches the bones.
But we also have known the sort of hope that makes your heart sing. . .
If you are a problem drinker, you already know enough about pain and loneliness.
We'd like you to find the peace and joy we have found in meeting the reality
of life's ups and downs with a clear head and a steady heart. . .
We hope to see you among us in person.
- Living Sober p. 86
Thought to Ponder . . .
Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H O P E = Heart Open; Please Enter.
Ups and downs
You won’t ever really feel good if feeling good is the only thing you seek. A life with only the ups and no downs is not only impossible, it is undesirable.
You won’t achieve anything of value unless you’re willing to work your way through some difficult and demanding challenges. Value is built through effort, and there is no way around that.
To become skilled, you must practice, and to learn, you must study. There are always new techniques that can make you more effective, yet there are no shortcuts when it comes to true achievement.
The pains, the disappointments, the frustrations and the trepidations hurt. Because they feel so bad, you have the opportunity to authentically feel good by working your way beyond them.
Life is necessarily difficult, and that’s what makes it possible for life to be so good. For it is in dealing with the difficulties that the power of life’s goodness is fully experienced.
Live life fully, enjoying the good times and growing stronger by working through the difficult times. Savor the richness that is to be found in it all.
— Ralph Marston