Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between. -- Melody Beattie
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for our Higher Power to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. it's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we're in between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©
Bad behavior is sometimes justified as a form of self-expression: "That's the way I am." Others are supposed to tolerate this or risk losing a friendship.
If we persist in "being the way we are" even when it doesn't work, we have nobody to blame but ourselves when things go wrong. Other people are entitled to be treated fairly and decently. Just as we want to be.
The ideas that got so deeply embedded in our lives while drinking
do not all disappear quickly, as if by magic,
the moment we start keeping the plug in the jug.
Our days of wine and "Sweet Adeline" may be gone, but the malady lingers on.
So we have found it therapeutic to nip off many old ideas
that start to sprout up again. And they do, over and over.
- Living Sober, p. 70
Thought to Ponder . . .
When I drink or use, my past becomes my future.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Always Aware.
Make full use
When you can only do a little, do it. Soon you’ll have the chance to do a little more, and a little more again, until the job is done.
When you only have a moment or two, make full use of whatever time you have. Even when you can’t get all of it done, you can get some of it done.
Forget about the time you don’t have, and use the time you do have. Instead of worrying about how you’ll do it all, focus on doing what you can right now.
Achievement requires many steps. So take another one each time you can.
Don’t waste your time complaining when the interruptions knock you off track. Just get yourself beyond them and get quickly back to work.
Do what you can, when you can, as often as you can. Your persistent, consistent efforts will surely and steadily take you where you choose to go.
— Ralph Marston