This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing. —Margaret Atwood
People have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood.
No relationship is healthy for either person if one is a victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength - let them bump up against it - even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable.
Today, I will take responsibility for my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won't undermine my relationships by being a victim.
From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©
Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Archie doesn't know how to worry without getting upset. --- Edith Bunker
Most us are like Edith's television husband, Archie. When we worry, we get upset. Problems seem too big for us. We get afraid. We feel powerless. What does the program tell us to do when we feel powerless and our life is upset? We look at the problem honestly . Than we ask our Higher Power to help us with the problem. We take it One Day at a Time. We believe our Higher Power will take care of us and help. We'll have problems. That's life! But we can get through them with care and support. We don't have to get crazy. We don't have to make things worst. We can be kind to ourselves and live through problems just fine---with our Higher Powers help.
Wouldn't you rather recognize that you have a health condition
which can be successfully treated, rather than spend a lot of time
miserably worrying about what's wrong with you?
We have found this is a better-looking, better-feeling picture of ourselves
than the old gloomy selves we used to be. It is truer, too. We know.
The proof of it is in the way we feel, act, and think -- now.
- Living Sober, p. 10
Thought to Ponder . . .
I would rather go through life sober, believing I am an alcoholic,
than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Altered Attitudes.