Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.
What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It'll keep right on whirling. It'll stay right on track with no help from us. And we'll be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.
Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we've been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over our life and us.
I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controlling or trying to control people. What I received for my efforts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.
In recovery, we make a trade off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better - a life that is manageable.
Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
The term tough love came into use to describe an attitude that aims to correct bad behavior by refusing to indulge or enable it. In the same way, we must recognize that there's such a thing as tough honesty when situations require us to deal with unpleasant facts.
One employer liked to compliment his subordinates even for work that he actually considered substandard. Later on, however, he would express his real opinions to an intermediate supervisor, who would then be forced to convey the bad news to the workers involved. The employer thought he was being kind, when he was actually being deceptive and treacherous simply because he wanted to be liked.
Action for the Day: Today I'll face the need for real honest whenever it's required. I'll be upfront with myself and others about anything that must be faced and dealt with. I will not use supposed kindness as an excuse for bearing false witness.
Keep It Simple
Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.---Catherine Ponder
We need to forgive so we can heal. Forgiveness means not wanting to get even. Forgiveness means letting go of self-will. Anger and hate are forms of self-will take up room in our heart. Yet, a still, small voice inside of us wants to forgive. Just as others have forgiven us, we need to forgive them. When we forgive, we give our will to our Higher Power. When we forgive, we make room in our heart for our Higher Power. By giving up our anger and our hate, we let that still, small voice come through a little louder. This is how we heal. This is why forgiving is so powerful for us.
Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery.
But these are indispensable.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 568
Thought to Ponder . . .
Honesty isn't an event -- it's a process.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
W H O = Willingness, Honesty, Open-mindedness.
A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi, I'm Tami and I'm an alcoholic -- sober today by the grace of God. I had tried AA in the past but I tried it my way versus the way the oldtimers had been suggesting. They suggested that I work the program and the Steps. I didn't want to do all those Steps -- they seemed so hard, and I didn't want to go to meetings all the time, either. I didn't have time to go to meetings -- I was too busy trying to find a job since I kept being fired because of my drinking. I was trying to find a place to live -- I kept being kicked out because I wasn't paying my bills. I wasn't about to pray; I didn't believe in God when I got here, and I wasn't about to read a book, either. Amazingly enough, I didn't stay sober, either. Imagine that!
In order to stay sober, I am to go to meetings, read the literature, pray, and don't drink. In doing all these things, I've been given back all I lost in my drinking. I have a home, a job, self-respect, morals, integrity, and hope. I have friends today. I know I need always to be honest in all my affairs. The bottom line is this: alcoholism kills -- sober up, get locked up, or get covered up. Well, I've known what it's like to be locked up, and surely I don't like the other options. Honesty is the key. Thank you.