Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Today's Gift
Control
Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.
What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It'll keep right on whirling. It'll stay right on track with no help from us. And we'll be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.
Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we've been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over our life and us.
I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controlling or trying to control people. What I received for my efforts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.
In recovery, we make a trade off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better - a life that is manageable.
Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
w/bonus
Walk in Dry Places
Honesty
Tough Honesty?
The term tough love came into use to describe an attitude that aims to correct bad behavior by refusing to indulge or enable it. In the same way, we must recognize that there's such a thing as tough honesty when situations require us to deal with unpleasant facts.
The term tough love came into use to describe an attitude that aims to correct bad behavior by refusing to indulge or enable it. In the same way, we must recognize that there's such a thing as tough honesty when situations require us to deal with unpleasant facts.
One employer liked to compliment his subordinates even for work that he actually considered substandard. Later on, however, he would express his real opinions to an intermediate supervisor, who would then be forced to convey the bad news to the workers involved. The employer thought he was being kind, when he was actually being deceptive and treacherous simply because he wanted to be liked.
We have a moral obligation to practice though honesty whenever it is required, if something unacceptable needs to be dealt with, we must do so in a timely manner..... Taking care to be as reasonable and fair as possible in stating our case. Being honest in this way with others is also a reminder that we should always be honest with ourselves.
Action for the Day: Today I'll face the need for real honest whenever it's required. I'll be upfront with myself and others about anything that must be faced and dealt with. I will not use supposed kindness as an excuse for bearing false witness.
~BONUS~
Keep It Simple
Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.---Catherine Ponder
We need to forgive so we can heal. Forgiveness means not wanting to get even. Forgiveness means letting go of self-will. Anger and hate are forms of self-will take up room in our heart. Yet, a still, small voice inside of us wants to forgive. Just as others have forgiven us, we need to forgive them. When we forgive, we give our will to our Higher Power. When we forgive, we make room in our heart for our Higher Power. By giving up our anger and our hate, we let that still, small voice come through a little louder. This is how we heal. This is why forgiving is so powerful for us.
Keep It Simple
Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.---Catherine Ponder
We need to forgive so we can heal. Forgiveness means not wanting to get even. Forgiveness means letting go of self-will. Anger and hate are forms of self-will take up room in our heart. Yet, a still, small voice inside of us wants to forgive. Just as others have forgiven us, we need to forgive them. When we forgive, we give our will to our Higher Power. When we forgive, we make room in our heart for our Higher Power. By giving up our anger and our hate, we let that still, small voice come through a little louder. This is how we heal. This is why forgiving is so powerful for us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me let go of self-will. Help me forgive people.
Action for the Day: I will list any anger or hate I have. I will think about how this gets in my way, and I'll pray to have this removed.
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One Day At A Time
Honesty
~Scroll down for share~
Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery.
But these are indispensable.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 568
Thought to Ponder . . .
Honesty isn't an event -- it's a process.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
W H O = Willingness, Honesty, Open-mindedness.
A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi, I'm Tami and I'm an alcoholic -- sober today by the grace of God. I had tried AA in the past but I tried it my way versus the way the oldtimers had been suggesting. They suggested that I work the program and the Steps. I didn't want to do all those Steps -- they seemed so hard, and I didn't want to go to meetings all the time, either. I didn't have time to go to meetings -- I was too busy trying to find a job since I kept being fired because of my drinking. I was trying to find a place to live -- I kept being kicked out because I wasn't paying my bills. I wasn't about to pray; I didn't believe in God when I got here, and I wasn't about to read a book, either. Amazingly enough, I didn't stay sober, either. Imagine that!
Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery.
But these are indispensable.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 568
Thought to Ponder . . .
Honesty isn't an event -- it's a process.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
W H O = Willingness, Honesty, Open-mindedness.
A MEMBER SHARES:
Hi, I'm Tami and I'm an alcoholic -- sober today by the grace of God. I had tried AA in the past but I tried it my way versus the way the oldtimers had been suggesting. They suggested that I work the program and the Steps. I didn't want to do all those Steps -- they seemed so hard, and I didn't want to go to meetings all the time, either. I didn't have time to go to meetings -- I was too busy trying to find a job since I kept being fired because of my drinking. I was trying to find a place to live -- I kept being kicked out because I wasn't paying my bills. I wasn't about to pray; I didn't believe in God when I got here, and I wasn't about to read a book, either. Amazingly enough, I didn't stay sober, either. Imagine that!
When I came back this second time, I was desperate, and was finally willing to do whatever it took. I knew I was manipulative, I was a liar, I was a thief, and I was a cheat. Now, even though the alcohol was taken away, I was still all those things. When I first got here I wanted to tell you about all my woes. After all, wasn't I different from all of you? I was sure I had it worse than anyone did. I had a case of terminal uniqueness, and wanted some magic answer to my issues that didn't require doing what you all suggested. Knowing this about myself, I knew I needed to change, and needed people who were going to be honest with me -- the truth tellers. They told me the answers are written in black and white in the Big Book. The first 164 pages tell me how to stay sober one day at a time.
In order to stay sober, I am to go to meetings, read the literature, pray, and don't drink. In doing all these things, I've been given back all I lost in my drinking. I have a home, a job, self-respect, morals, integrity, and hope. I have friends today. I know I need always to be honest in all my affairs. The bottom line is this: alcoholism kills -- sober up, get locked up, or get covered up. Well, I've known what it's like to be locked up, and surely I don't like the other options. Honesty is the key. Thank you.
In order to stay sober, I am to go to meetings, read the literature, pray, and don't drink. In doing all these things, I've been given back all I lost in my drinking. I have a home, a job, self-respect, morals, integrity, and hope. I have friends today. I know I need always to be honest in all my affairs. The bottom line is this: alcoholism kills -- sober up, get locked up, or get covered up. Well, I've known what it's like to be locked up, and surely I don't like the other options. Honesty is the key. Thank you.
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Daily Motivation
Daily Motivation
Heal the hurt
When you blame others for your troubles, you give them control of your life. Free yourself from your own anger, from your own resentment, and you'll find vastly more room for serenity and abundance.
It's bad enough if someone has wronged you in the past. Is it of any value for you to continue suffering from it?
Your best strategy is not to prolong the pain, or expand upon it. Your best strategy is to get past it as quickly as possible.
Whether or not anyone deserves your forgiveness is not the point. The point is, you deserve to forgive, to take back control of your life, so that you can live abundantly.
Your forgiveness may not even make a difference to those you forgive, if they're even aware of it. For you, it makes all the difference in the world.
When it is you who is feeling the hurt, it is also you who can heal the hurt. Heal the hurt, and move past the pain, with forgiveness.
-- Ralph Marston
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