The “Work-In”

Time to Throw Away the Can of Self Whoop Ass!

Last week on LifeLube.org I talked about reflecting on last year and making a list of things that went well for you and the things that didn’t go so well. I wonder how many of you have “not so well” lists that are much longer. It’s easier for us to go the “not so well” list because we are our own worst critics. Sometimes our negative thoughts are automatic and sometimes we choose our negative thoughts. Millions of people have this habit. We are always beating ourselves up. We all do it and we know we shouldn't. We all have certain things that we regularly beat ourselves up over like loosing weight, starting school, and meeting other goals. Just about everyone has some negative thoughts and some negative labels about themselves;

• My life is crap
• I’m not good enough
• I’m not good looking
• I am a loser
• I am not worthy
• I can’t stop using
• I can’t do anything right
• I can’t go onI give upI......
  

We beat ourselves up with the belief that it will make us change our ways. That is a dead-wrong strategy.

As we say in AA,
“Throw the stick away”

Thoughts are thoughts. Thoughts are not facts! We can choose what we tell ourselves. Here I go talking about choices again. Time to ask yourself another question, “What do I choose to tell myself?” Here, I’ll give you an example. My goal for last year was to get back down to 200lbs. By mid December I was 5 pounds shy of hitting my mark. Instead of getting pissed at myself I chose to tell myself, “Shit I lost 40lbs., damn good for me! I Rock.” I went into 2008 weighing 245 and my waist size was 40-42. Yes I was a chunky monkey. Ending 2008 I now weigh 205lbs. and wear a size 36. I did not fail, even though I did not hit 200lbs. I am still a hell of a lot thinner.

Here are four tips from K. Stone, author of Life Learning Today, a blog about daily life improvements, on how to stop beating yourself up;

1. Examine your thinking. On what goals do you constantly run into walls and then run a pattern of beating yourself up?
2. Find Solutions for those roadblocks. This is how you break the pattern of beating yourself up. The solution may be to come up with a better process or routine to help you succeed. Spend a little time fail-proofing your plan. Another solution may be to analyze your goals and ensure that they are realistic. If you plan out 100% of your day with no transition or buffer time built in, you're going to fall short on something every day. It's inevitable. So make sure that your goals are realistic. Otherwise you'll keep feeling defeated.

3. Turn Off the Negative Voice. Every time you hear that internal voice putting yourself down, recognize it, and then say "No!" to it. Then go back to step two and find a solution instead.
4. When All Else Fails. Get some rest and start anew tomorrow. Sometimes our body is simply too tired to muster up the energy to be positive and create solutions. Give yourself a break and start over tomorrow.

End the Violence
“Throw the stick away”

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain